Thursday, 16 December 2010

The drawl of y'all

I'm going to begin this post by saying that if you're a fan of Beverley Barton you should stop reading now. Seriously, cease and desist immediately as I'm about to be very insulting. Fair warning.

Okay, for those of you still with me, I've just finished reading Cold Hearted by said Ms Barton. It promises to be terrifying and gripping. It was neither. In fact it really wasn't very good at all. I thought at first that it was just going to be trash but I think even that's being generous. It was, as I'm fond of saying, utter shite. And whoever read it and thought it was "terrifying" has clearly not read some of the crime fiction that I have, cos some of that stuff really is keep you awake at night creepy and scary. You, Ms Barton, are just silly.

I've not been to Georgia so perhaps I'm being a tad unfair here, but seriously, do "y'all" go round saying y'all every other word, cos that's what she did. And if she wasn't y'all-ing all over the place, she was honey-ing. It was barmy and rather boring for someone who has never and will never utter the phrase y'all, except when taking the piss out of such strange phrases. I'm well aware that all places have their own peculiar way of speaking, the Teesside way is hardly the best trust me, but it's just so...strange? odd? hence the drawl of y'all. Cos when I do try to speak it, it sounds all wrong coming out of my north east England accented voice. I'm pretty sure you have to be all about the drawl in order to say y'all correctly. And it's hard to type too! I am baffled by the use of such a word or is it a phrase? If Fizz is reading this she'll know, being the grammar queen that she is.

In conclusion, I really would find it very hard to recommend Beverley Barton for anything, other than the pile of books to return to the charity shop. I'll make a mental note never to pick one up again and am hoping that my next choice will satisfy me much more. Stay tuned for the next book review!

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