Thursday, 31 January 2008

Older? Yes. Wiser? No way!

Had to wait a suitable period of time before I could top the mischief post. Wow, my peeps really rock. I was, and still am, totally overwhelmed by the shoes. I don't think anyone else has ever bought me something that I've lusted after so much. I normally just accept that whatever it is will only ever live in the shop and not in my house. But now my booootiful shoes have pride of place on the shoe rack. I find myself walking past them stroking them thoughtfully and sighing contentedly...

So. Birthday party rolled around on Saturday. As per usual, the Dizz house was well prepared for it. I don't mean decorations. I mean that I'd filled the house with booze and enough food to feed a small army. And of course spent mucho time uploading many many cds for my itunes mix. Got a bit carried away transferring them all over from my library when I realised I had 12 hours of music. Turns out though, wasn't that far off...

Cooked up a storm in the afternoon. Went upstairs to think about getting ready about 6.30pm, peeps expected at 7.30 onwards. By the time I'd tried on half of the wardrobe and discarded it cos it didn't match the shoes, it was about 7.15 and I had minutes to sort out my bonkers hair and add the smokey eye make-up *grrrooowwwwlllll* Came hurtling down the stairs, well as speedily as you can hurtle in 4 inch heels, as the doorbell rang.

Party started. Wine, beer, vodka, amaretto, flowed. Laughter was to be heard everywhere, with the occasional squeal of delight. Eeeh it was brilliant. I stopped counting after about 3 glasses of wine, but pretty safe to say that I was very drunkity-drunk-drunk at the end of it. I know this for many reasons:
1. I don't actually remember saying goodbye to half of the guests when they left
2. I made one guest take her wine glass with her in the taxi cos she wasn't quite done
3. I hugged Fizz's new fella. Even though I'd only met him for the first time that night. And probably only spoke to him for about 30 minutes total. Good first impression methinks
4. I wore my shoes until about half 2. And I didn't fall over once. Stumbled once I think but it was a carrying food and wearing shoes incident
5. I sat on Wavey's knee for some considerable time. Poor Wavey, he was probably crushed to death
6. I threw things into my yard, such as empty wine boxes, and beer bottle tops. Always gracefully might I add though
7. I ate about 7 of T's mini tartlets, but oh they're my favourite!
8. I didn't go to bed til 5am
9. I did brush my teeth but didn't wash my face, shocking!
10. And finally, I had a very bad hangover the next day

Who says you can't party hard at 33? Hehe.

In other news: it is absolutely FREEZING outside. And not only that but it's sleet raining. And windy. So I lost yet another um-ber-ella this morning. This one was quite spectacular. Blew out of my hands, snapped in half and had issues about what sort of shape it was supposed to be. Pah! I am going for hoods or hats now. No more stupid um-ber-ellas, they be pants!

Ta-ta xx

Friday, 25 January 2008

Mischief Managed

Oh, it was fun, the gift-giving. Wavey and I had it planned to perfection...

First: setting the scene on Tuesday at the theatre, Wavey and I huddled together and whispered for a bit, then he said to me in a loud voice "The actual box!" and I promptly hushed him - thus letting Dizz know that the mischief involved some kind of box.
Then, last night, we gave Dizz a shoe box, all wrapped up pretty with an elephant gift tag "To Dizz, from Fizz, Wavey and Tizz". She opened it and realised it was an "Irregular Choice" shoe box, i.e. the make of shoes that she has been lusting after for months, which normally cost loads and loads of money.
"You didn't!" said Dizz.
"Er, no. We didn't," said Wavey.
Dizz then opened the shoe box to discover that it didn't contain sexy shoes, just some "bollocks" (another story) and a tuner for her guitar.
"Where are the shoes?" asked Dizz.
"Erm, it's just the box," I said. Wavey was looking distinctly shifty.
"How did you get the box?" asked Dizz.
"I went to the shop and asked for it," I said.
"That's so mean!" said Dizz, looking very disappointed, but trying to hide the fact and smiling gamely.

We then gave her a small tub of cake, which she ignored, still looking for the shoes. At this point I think she didn't quite believe that we'd be that horrible. Eventually though, she accepted that there were no shoes, only the box. Poor Dizz.
Then I suggested she might like to open the rest of the cake, as I'd baked four different kinds. I produced a rather large tupperware box filled with greaseproof paper. I do believe this is the only time in her life that Dizz was less than enthusiastic about being given cake.
Dizz opened the tupperware box, pulled out some of the greaseproof paper, and squealed "Oh my God!" Nestled in the paper were the gorgeous shoes.

For the rest of the evening Dizz kept saying to Wavey and me, "I love my shoes," interspersed with "You're so mean!"

Thursday, 24 January 2008

Happy Birthdaaaaaay!

Oh the mischief we have planned for this evening! I can hardly wait. Here's an artist's impression of Dizz just after opening her present...

I'll try to get an actual photo tonight....

Wednesday, 23 January 2008


Okay so what do you get if you cross a pair of fake Ugg boots with a full day of rain? Dizz in a puddle!

Let me explain. When I got dressed on Monday it really didn't look that wet. And I was really rocking my wide brown belt slung low on the hips, with the skinnies, and the tan coloured Ugg-alikes. Little did I realise that it was going to rain quite as much as it did. I got a bit soggy on the walk to work in the morning but hey, I can live with soggy. What I cannot live with is finding myself sat in a small river posing as a puddle (see how I tease the story out there...)

4.30 rolls around and I decide that I need to finish work early as I have to rush off to Primark to buy cheap yoga pants that will stay up when I start my running next week (that's a whole other post just waiting to happen, you know I speak the truth). By this time, the rain has been pouring all day long and there are a lot of puddles. Big puddles. Deep puddles. Oh and did I mention that it was windy as well?

I'm hurrying along at my usual pace, doing pretty well to dodge the puddles, hang onto my umbrella and my bag that keeps falling off my shoulder and my funkay lunch tin that came from San Fran. Until I come to a gap in the buildings. This is the point where the events all unfold one after the other and I have no control over them. It happens like this, narrated in 3rd person like proper story:
1. Reach gap in buildings
2. Huge gust of wind
3. Dizz umbrella blows inside out and almost out of hands
4. Whilst battling to control said rogue umbrella Dizz steps unknowingly into small river posing as puddle
5. Stupid Ugg-alikes with no grip on sole, plus small river, plus greasy streets of town=Dizz losing her footing
6. In true comedy moment style Dizz lands in the middle of small river, flat on her backside
7. Thankfully Dizz backside well padded so no bruising
8. But stupid Ugg-alikes will not allow Dizz to get a grip in order to stand up
9. Dizz flails around in puddle (silently thanking god that no-one is around to watch the humiliation) laughing and groaning all at the same time
10. Dizz finally admits defeat, and puts gloved hand into small river in order to get a grip and stand up
11. Dizz slips and slides her way out of the puddle only to realise that her right glove is absolutely wringing wet, as is her lovely coat, her skinnies, and yep, right down to her pants - soggy Dizz.

Oh blog readers how soggy I was. But! In true Dizz-style, nothing was going to stop me doing what I'd set out to do, so soggy and squelchy, I dripped my way down to the shops, bought loads of good, cheap clothing, and headed home.

I oh so kindly didn't sit down on the bus so that the next passenger would be forced to endure the sogginess. And I also told several people what had happened. All who laughed long and hard I have no doubt. As am I. Still. What a giggle!

The Ugg-alikes are still drying out. I'm not sure I hold out much hope for them surviving the tale. The rogue umbrella has been replaced by a new one. With stars on it. And the Dizz backside is bruise free. The Dizz pride may however be a little dented, but still, what better way to get over it than to share the tale on this very blog. I hope you've enjoyed dear readers. And always remember: when it's raining, wear SENSIBLE shoes...

Saturday, 19 January 2008

Hairdresser visit

Today was my 6-weekly appointment with my hairdresser. I'm there so much that I send her a Christmas card. She's pretty ace really, as she knows exactly how to control my crazy hair, and she does whatever I ask, even when I tell her to chop off 18 inches or so and make it all squint on one side (seemed like a good idea at the time). She didn't chop it today as I'm growing above squint style out so that my hair will return to its former long long long, right down my back, curly, much loved by everyone, glory. It's well on the way now actually, has reached past my shoulders in just one year.

Anyhoo, getting to the point. I quite often get it dried straight cos it looks all smooth and sleek that way but today I was in kind of a hurry and the straightening takes forever, so asked her to blow dry it to its usual curly madness. She then uttered the phrase I dread: "just tip your head upside down for me" and set to it with the diffuser. When I emerged from said upside-down-ness I knew it was going to be bad. And it was beyond. It was HUGE! To put it politely, volume is something I do not have a yearning for as I have it in shovel-loads. Doing the upside down thang really does make my hair into a giant curl-ball perched on the top of my head.

Emerging from the hairdressers with said huge curl-ball, I hurried down the high street trying to get some kind of control over it and avoiding the raised eyebrows from passers-by who are not used to such sights in our tidy-haired village. A few good chunks of wax later and it was slightly smaller...I say slightly...Wavey picked me up to go to theatre and did a kind of double take over the hugeness. Bless him, he tried to be polite and came out with: "well it's...big..." said in a questioning tone. Luckily I don't take offence over such comments or I'd be permanently walking round with a sour puss face, chuckle.

So to sum up Saturday=huge hair day.

Mind you, Saturday was also make a stained glass window at theatre day. The whole thing is held together with masking tape, sellotape, backing paper, and a well worded prayer from Dizz that a passing breeze doesn't make it fall down! It looks oh so pretty though, I'm very proud of my Blue Peter skills.

And to end, I finally have a pretty new mobile phone. So hopefully you should all stop getting 4 texts with the same message from me. And I should no longer have to worry if my insurance covers me throwing the phone through the window when it kept on switching off halfway through a massive important text. Woohoo!
Ta-ta x

Sunday, 13 January 2008

The week in films

After much consideration, I'm beginning to think that rom-coms are not my most favourite films. Cos every single time I watch one of them I'm left with that hmmmm kind of feeling; there's no wow factor. That hmmmmm is not good. This week's rom-com disaster was Kate and Leopold. I had high hopes for this one mainly because it has the lovely Hugh Jackman in it, and he wears knee high black leather boots, and breeches (spelling anyone? I mean those tighty-tight trousers that go with the knee high boots), and Meg Ryan, she does rom-com good. But it was...awful. Yep, yet more squirming at how bad it was. So, lesson learned, take rom-coms off the menu for January.

But never fear peeps. I've not been let down by the films. There have been a couple that have really blown me away. First up was Delicatessen. For those of you who haven't seen it this is a French movie by Jeunet and Caro. And it's about cannibalism. But don't be put off by that as it is amazing. They delight in the visual, so much of the movie was spent in wide-eyed awe at how clever they are; I was at one point tempted to clap in glee like a small child at the wonderment of it all. Big yay to Fizz for that recommendation.

Next up was Stranger than Fiction. I was recommended this by D, but was slightly hesitant as I'm a bit hit and miss with the liking of Will Ferrell. But this was a brilliant film. I loved it so much that I've been thinking about it a lot today. It had a great cast for one, and not one of them was bad in it. I think Dustin Hoffman was my fave as the eccentric academic who liked to walk around barefoot. Me likey and would definitely recommend if you lean towards the quirky in your film choices.

Almost as if they know about my hermit month the BBC have been putting films that I haven't seen on late at night so I've been taping them. So from there I saw Churchill: the Hollywood Years which was just a bit odd, and not really that great, but had a few laugh out loud moments so it was okay. And then there was Honeymoon in Vegas. SJP pre-SATC. Me likey. Laughed a lot. And loved the sky-diving Elvis peeps, brilliant.

Finally for the week, I watched Vanity Fair earlier today. Which was not really that worthy. Nice frocks and accessories though!

So that be my week in films! Wow. I feel like I've got square eyes. So tonight I'm sitting here blogging and enjoying music, Wavey's laid out on the floor reading his book, Fizz might be popping round for a cuppa later; a cosy Sunday in this month of few pennies, long days, and rubbish weather :o)

Saturday, 5 January 2008

The hermit

Let's face it, January is a bit of a dismal month: it lasts 5 weeks (cos we get paid so early), it doesn't actually get properly light other than for about 5 minutes at lunchtime, and the weather is pants - in the few days since it started we've had snow, lashing down rain and big windy winds. However there are some highlights: it's my birthday near the end, it's Wavey's birthday in the middle (this means we can eat cake guilt free, birthday cake is like the law), we can eat lots of soup and mashed potato and gravy and it's okay cos it's cold outside and we need to stay warm, and you don't have to pretend that you want to go out and play. In other words it's perfectly acceptable to become hermit-like. Yay!

Not being such hermit-like ordinarily I decided that I need to fill January with exciting stuff to do indoors. And so I'm watching lots of films. So far it's been a mixed bag but I have high hopes that some gems may be discovered. Such gems will not include Music and Lyrics. Have any of you seen this awful film? I was passed it on via T from work who reassured me that it was good, that her and her hubby had actually enjoyed it. Well, me and Wavey watched it and safe to say, we did not enjoy. In fact, the cheese factor was sooooo incredibly high that I was actually cringing and squirming with embarrassment. Oh lordy me, it was bad! Trust me blog readers when I tell you I'm saving you 2 hours of your precious life by telling you never to watch this film.

Tonight it's 2 trusty faves, yep, 2 in one night, so decadent! First up is The Devil Wears Prada. Now obviously I love this film cos the fashions are to die for. And also Meryl Streep rocks. And there's a cutie boy in it. All round winner. Second up is Notting Hill. I know, I know, Hugh Grant again (see above) but this is a great film. Mainly for the character Spike. And also Julia Roberts is always lovely (I'm aware that many of you will disagree with that statement but I like her and this is my blog post, so ner ner ner)

Today has been one of those energy days! We went to theatre this morning, there was only 5 of us there but we rocked the place! We really did, I walked in and thought oh gawd we're never going to get anything done. But we pulled down the old set, tidied up all the stuff away, swept, had time for some fish 'n' chips, and practically built the new set. Go the Saturday team! We so good, N lurves us, oh yes he does. Then came home, had swift cuppa, went into town, bought totally bargainous long jumper in New Look for 1 of our English pounds, yep, just 1! Ooooh suits you! Came home, took down some Christmas decorations. Moved the dvds over to another shelf. Moved the books to where the dvds had been. And now I'm going to go make dinner. Wow. Must have been that wholewheat toast I had for breakfast.

Oh speaking of food. Was trying some sales clothes on, and have decided that I am bordering on serious fat knacker. That Christmas indulgence has led to some flabby bits, blog readers. So next time you see me eating anything other than fruit or veg, I give you permission to yell at me. And to end, I know we say it every single year, but I really must start and do some exercise again. Run Forrest run...

Thursday, 3 January 2008


I have to share my amazement at how geometrically correct my bruises are! On New Year's Eve I fell on a circular tin of chocolates - Dizz will tell you I was trying to get into the tin, but that's just not true. Anyway, the bruises have taken a few days to develop, but now they are just amazing - here's an artist's impression (a photo of the real thing would be too nasty since my legs haven't seen daylight for many years!)

Oh, and by the way, can I just add OUCH!

Tuesday, 1 January 2008

The good thief/Farewell to 2007

First things first: Happy New Year! I hope you all had a lovely time and here's a big glass of Tesco's finest Pinot raised in celebration and to welcome in 2008!

Next up is me admitting that I'm a bit of a thief. Well, only as far as blog posts go. I stole this particular idea from Librarian Girl. However, in fairness she stole it from someone else so I guess we're spreading the thief lurve.

So here is my version:
1. What did you do in 2007 that you'd never done before?
The stand-out things I can remember are that I went to San Francisco and fell in love with it, and had black chunks put in my hair, and employed some seriously underhand tactics with Fizz in order to beat Wavey at various board games.

2. Did you keep your new year's resolutions and will you make more for next year?
Since I can remember I've made the same two resolutions: that I'll stop biting my fingernails, and that I'll stop swearing. The usual practice is that about 3 minutes into the new year I've broken both of them so I don't bother now.

3. Did anyone close to you give birth?
Two people. One baby boy. One baby girl. I might just be a teensy bit in love with baby boy, he's the most beautiful little boy and every time I see him I want to steal him away...anyone who knows me knows that this is not usual Dizz speak, trust me, he really is that delicious.

4. Did anyone close to you die?
No thank god. But a work colleague lost her husband which saddened me more that I expected. I can honestly say that I've never seen anyone so in love with their husband after so many years together, I think about her a lot.

5. What countries did you visit?
The US of A baby. San Francisco. Oh! Even now I close my eyes and I see every detail that I fell in love with. What a beautiful city.

6. What would you like to have in 2008 that you lacked in 2007?
I should be making this all meaningful but I'm going to be really really shallow and say these: shoes But they're way out of my budget so instead I have to do lots of lusting and whimpering at them in the shop.

7. What dates from 2007 will remain etched upon your memory?
The last 6 weeks of the year. For many reasons that were good, bad, sad. The importance lies in an understanding: that I have some of the greatest friends I will ever have the privilege of knowing. They know who they are. And there are not enough words to describe how amazing they were to me. I feel like my family just expanded and that's why the etching. You don't forget stuff like that.

8. What was your biggest achievement of the year?
Getting respect at work. I've come a long way in there and it feels good.

9. What was your biggest failure?
It sounds a bit kooky to say it but I try to learn from everything. And I don't like to focus on bad stuff. If I did something wrong, tell me, and I'll work on ways to get it right.

10. Did you suffer illness or injury?
Not a great health year but nothing serious, just rubbish bugs picked up from work. Oh and maybe a few bruises... ;o)

11. What was the best thing you bought?
Oooooh tough question! It tends to change as I have a tendency to fall in lust with every new thing. But if I had to only pick one thing, it would be my shiny new ipod. I heart it so.

12. Whose behaviour merited celebration?
Refer to question 7. You know who you are.

13. Whose behaviour made you appalled and depressed?
A lot of my work colleagues. There's been some shit flying round there the past few weeks. I hope the time away has given them time to reflect on what's important.

14. Where did most of your money go?
The boring answer is my house and its upkeep.
The vanity answer is my hair.

15. What did you get really, really, really excited about?
Two utterly fantastic gigs. First up: The Rumblestrips. Wow. Oh wow. They might go down as one of the finest gigs I've ever seen. In my life. They absolutely rocked the place. I am in awe. Second: Amy Winehouse. Yep. We saw her. And she was absolutely amazing. We were so lucky cos days later she cancelled the rest of her tour and was boo-ed off several stages. Thank you to the music!

16. What song will always remind you of 2007?
Um-ber-fecking-rella by Rhianna. She ruined our summer. I genuinely believe that. She made all the rain happen. She sucks.

17. Compared to this time last year, are you:
a) happier or sadder? Can I say wiser...
b) thinner or fatter? Ahem, sucky time to answer this question, it's been Christmas! Fatter of course. But not for long, never fear!
c) richer or poorer? Richer, poorer, what's the difference? I've sold my soul to Virgin credit cards, say no more :o(

18. What do you wish you'd done more of?
Not sure how to answer this one. I'm not one for looking back and feeling regretful.

19. What do you wish you'd done less of?
Being stuck in the middle of impossible situations. Me no likey. And I really hope that there ain't any more of that shit in 2008.

20. How will you be spending Christmas?
Well you saw the photos. With the lovely Fizz, Wavey and Tizz. And then the day after with my lovely parentals. It's been a pretty amazing holiday all round. I'm sad to say goodbye to it...

21. For some reason this question is AWOL.

22. Did you fall in love in 2007?
Love? No. Serious likey-like? Yes. Refer to question 7 and fill in the gaps. Safe to say that question 19 was part of it. Sad to say that I'm cynical again :o(

23. How many one night stands?
I never kiss and tell.

24. What was your favourite TV programme?
Heroes. Tchah!

25. Do you hate anyone now that you didn't hate this time last year?
Hate? That's a strong word. I seldom find myself hating anyone. Disappointed? Definitely. Mind you, that could be considered worse if you've ever been unfortunate enough to feel the Dizz disappointment.

26. What was the best book you read?
A Short History of Tractors in Ukranian. I can honestly say that I have never been so utterly delighted by a book, so much so that as soon as I finished it I wanted to start all over again. Read it. Now.

27. What was your greatest musical discovery?
Oh so many! The Maccabees. The Rumblestrips. The Hoosiers. The Young Republic. I could go on...

28. What did you want and get?
A holiday in San Francisco with the lovely Tizz that would remain forever in my heart.

29. What did you want and not get?
A millionaire husband who will buy me a house with a swimming pool.

30. What was your favourite film of this year?
I can tell you what my least favourite was. I Am Legend. That was some scary stuff. I had to hide in my hoodie. Me no likey.

31. What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you?
I shared it with the lovely T at work, as it was her hen night. We made her wear knickers outside her jeans. And we danced to cheesey music. And I turned 32.

32. What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying?
Can I say the shoes again?

33. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2007?
As absolutely fabulous as ever my lovely blog readers.

34. What kept you sane?
I was supposed to be sane? Ooops...

35. Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most?
Oh come on! Just one? No can do. It changes almost daily! But big up there this year are Denny from Grey's Anatomy, and the ever loved David Tennant. In his glasses. Oh!

36. What political issue stirred you the most?
I try not to watch the news cos it makes me so sad, but Tony Blair resigning as Prime Minister and Gordon Brown taking over was pretty monumental. I'm not sure he's made of Prime Minister stuff.

37. Who did you miss?
My lovely London friends who I don't see enough of.

38. Who was the best new person you met?
I feel like I've met my friends all over again this year. Something has seriously changed and the bonds feel unbreakable now. I know that's not really answering the question but there you go.

39. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2007:
That I may never get over that champagne hangover. Seriously, I see those bubbles and my stomach turns, ugh.

40. Quote a song lyric that sums up your year:
No can do. There's not any one song that would sum up any year for me.

Final thoughts:
Yet again it's been a rollercoaster of a year. So many highs, several dips, but hey I've still come out of it smiling. Here's to 2008, may it bring more of the same!

Happy New Year! xx