Wednesday, 22 October 2008


scary halloween outfitI'm notoriously camera-shy, so rather than actual photos of my halloween outfit, I've drawn a preview:

Is the hair as scary as you imagined Wavey?

Friday, 17 October 2008


Dizz is on baby-visiting duty in the big smoke, so I'm trying to amuse you in her absence. Luckily I've been quite busy recently so there's plenty to blog about.

I've played squish with Wavey a few times recently. Squish is very similar to squash - played in the same court with the same type of bat and ball - but the rules are subtly different. First of all, there are no winners and no losers, except if you're playing Wavey, and then he's always the loser. Secondly, the 'out' rule only applies if the ball hits the air-conditioner or light fitting, or goes over the top of the back wall and into the hallway outside. Other rules include (but are not limited to):
  • The ball is allowed to bounce as many times as it takes you to get there.
  • Players should aim to serve an equal number of times. Unless one of you is a bit pants and needs extra practise.
  • At the mutual discretion of the players, you may both play with your weak hands (to get the other half of your brain working).
  • You may challenge your opponent to play 'in the style of' a famous person - Mick Jagger and Amy Winehouse are good examples.
  • The main aim of the game is to keep the ball in play as long as possible; long rallies are the goal.
  • The secondary aim of squish is to make your opponent laugh - laughing uses energy and will help you both get a good work-out. Any annoyance caused to the uber-competetive, mega-serious boys in the court next door is a bonus.
  • If the ball is on your side of the court you can shout 'mine' and hit it again, even if it's not your turn.
  • Any shot deemed to be 'sneaky' gives your opponent the right to be a bit huffy for a while (unless you are Dizz, who can't huff for toffee).
But the most important rule of all is the 'over there' rule. It's a bit like the offside rule in football (soccer to our American friends), in that its definition fluctuates. The exact parameters depend on factors such as who's playing, how knackered they are and what current injuries they have (but hang-overs are not taken into account, Wavey). The basic idea of the 'over there' rule is: if the ball is too far away for you to be able to get to it comfortably, you don't have to return it. In fact, in squish etiquette, your partner should really shout 'mine' and hit it again, to a more reasonable place this time.

If you'd like to read the full set of squish rules, you can't. They exist only in my head and are subject to change at the drop of a hat.


Continuing with the theme of classes, last night I went to a really fantastic one. The universe is back in balance, my yin and yang are in harmony.

I have had some problems with my back recently, so my physio has given me "exercise on prescription" which means I get to go to exercise classes for a fraction of the usual cost. I've tried a few different kinds; last night was Salsa Aerobics. It's great - not real Salsa, but still sexy and fun. And the music's great - Gloria Esteban, Marc Anthony, Elvis Crespo, La Ley... ah, takes me back...

I've been a few times now and I'm starting to learn the moves. They have names like mambo, cha-cha-cha, sashay, charleston and shimmy. I know it's really no different from a normal aerobics class with moves called v-step, box-step and side-step but somehow it's soooo much cooler.

And the instructor is brilliant. She manages to pitch the difficulty level just right, so you're concentrating so hard on getting your feet in the right place that you forget how knackered and sweaty you are. But the cleverest bit is she manages to time the routines so well that we quite often end on the very last beat of a song, normally doing jazz-hands. It's so cool!

Tuesday, 14 October 2008

Rant. Sorry.

I've recently started going to a creative writing class - I've always enjoyed writing but I was never sure if my stuff was any good. So I signed up for the class. I've been twice now, and I'm going to have to stop going because the teacher is so inept it actually makes me grind my teeth in frustration.

Last night, for example, she recommended that we read a book, but couldn't remember the title. When she did eventually remember the title she couldn't remember the author. But apparently the book is 'very very good, really very very good.' The she recommended a website but wasn't sure of the exact address.

Later she handed out a photo-copied document that explained the 5 important elements in a short story - characterisation, plot etc. - which recommended 5 different short stories to illustrate particularly good examples of these elements. Then she told us she hadn't actually read any of these short stories. But somehow still knew that they are 'very very good.'

Later still she was explaining an exercise which involved stating the plot of a book or play in 12 words. She hadn't prepared an example beforehand and the only one she could come up with on the spur of the moment was Romeo and Juliet; bad choice as it turns out because she didn't know the plot! And in case you were wondering, the play is apparently 'very very good.'


Monday, 13 October 2008


Not sure it'll look as good as the design... We'll see.

Sunday, 12 October 2008

I Do (not)

It's soon to be Halloween. And I've not really done much about that, other than buy sweeties for the kiddies in the street, since I was at university. However, this year is going to be very different. Fizz and I have been invited to a fancy dress party at D's house. This is very exciting! This is my second fancy dress of the year and I'm loving it! Seriously, I think all parties should be fancy dress, it's so much fun. Mucho thinking about what I was going to go as later, I decided on the Bride of Frankenstein:


Big hair, not a problem. White streaks, get thee to Danglers and invest in more nasty synthetic hair. False eyelashes, never been worn before but hey I'll give anything a go. Smokey eyes and red lipstick, grrrooowwwwwlll. Scars on the neck, get me some black eyeliner. Wedding dress, arrrrrrggggggghhhhhh!

I've only ever experienced the wedding dress nightmare one other time. At theatre they were selling this hideous 80s one and needed a model. I was the only person who would vaguely fit it. And it was horrible. Hated it. Most uncomfortable. It would be fair to comment that I don't have that bride gene thing. I've never wanted to be a princess for a day. The thought of a big white dress and being the centre of attention all day is enough to bring me out in a cold sweat. Dizz does not want to be a bride. Are we clear on that?

So, Fizz decided we would make the dress out of a bed sheet. And she was off. Designer mode. Within minutes there was a drawing. And work began yesterday. It's going to be so cool. It's tighty-tight across the boobs and will be laced up at the back, with a fishtail and huge sleeves and a ruffle round the bottom. Photos will of course follow. Oh and it's probably going to be see through, chuckle. Now that's my kind of dress!


Thursday, 9 October 2008

Job, new

How typical is that? Weeks of inactivity on the blog then a sudden flurry of posts! You can tell that we suddenly have time on our hands. Quick update for today, the cough has eased slightly to be replaced by a pouring nose, yep, all the cold that has been stored up waiting to come out has finally moved from my throat and is coming out of my nose. This is seriously the cold of the devil. I hope you've all managed to avoid it and those of you who've visited me, I can only apologise if you do get it but it was at your own risk that you entered the house of germs!

But that is not the point of today's post. Those of you dear readers who chat to me on a regular basis know how incredibly disillusioned I am by libraryland at the moment. And it's got nothing to do with the fact that I have a broom up my arse I'm doing so many jobs in there at the moment. No it's more a realisation that perhaps libraryland is not where my future lies. Which of course begs the question, where the hell does it lie?

Well if I were being totally honest my ideal job of dreams would be a sort of personal shopper/stylist type combination where I would basically take people shopping and make them spend loads of money. But the sensible part of me knows this will never happen and I kinda have a mortgage and bills to pay so moving swiftly on. I went to see a careers adviser at work and he gave me all these great websites to look at and tasks to do to help me get ideas of where I should go next. Due to the sheer boredom of suffering from the devil's cold I've finally got round to doing just that. And the results were very pleasing and surprising.

It was one of those things where you find your ideal job by answering certain questions about your skills and interests and so on. The resulting list could have been penned by my own fair mind. The first one was a broadcast assistant. Funny as my first degree was in Media Studies and I specialised in radio...then there was a museum curator, an exhibition display manager, there was also academic librarian in there and a couple of other libraryland jobs so I'm not ruling them out completely. In total there were about 8 jobs that I was interested in. So now I just have to find one of these ideal jobs. And get an interview. And then wow them with my super-ness. If any of you readers have any suggestions as to how I go about this, please don't hesitate to let me know in the comments box. And I'll keep you posted should I ever manage to escape from libraryland! Wish me luck...xx

What a bod!

I'm in love with Mohinder from Heroes. All I can say is OH! Suits you sir.

Who knew he had such a good body? So what if it's peeling off, he is yummy!

Wednesday, 8 October 2008

Fizz De Milo

You've heard of the Venus de Milo, well here's a new take on that theme. Not nearly as valuable or beautiful, but much funnier. At least Dizz seemed to think so when we were making it.

It all started when I read one of the many craft books that I lust after but can't afford to buy. The book in question contained instructions on how to make your own dress-maker's dummy. I've wanted one of those for ages but they are way out of my price range, so the idea in the book was perfect for me. Basically what you have to do is put on a large old t-shirt and then get a very good friend to wrap you in duct tape. It has to be a very good friend because there is boob-touching involved.

I had already started before Dizz arrived, and was getting a bit anxious because 1) I couldn't sit down and 2) I was having a little trouble breathing. This is what greeted Dizz when she got here.

After Dizz finnished wrapping me I felt a bit like C3P0 from Star Wars - I couldn't move my arms.

As soon as Dizz cut me out of the Fizz-suit, the first thing she wanted to do was try on my boobs...

And here's the finished product. Fizz de Milo. A masterpiece. Thanks Dizz!


Where did we all go? It's like I was doing stuff in my yard, I was blogging about it and then boom! Disappearing bloggers! Weeeelll, not sure about Fizz and Tizz but I know I've just been so fecking busy that the time is not just flying by, it's whooshing by like that new Heroes character: super speedy girl or whatever she might be called.

The only reason I'm able to find the time to blog today is because I'm off work poorly sick. Yep, the students returned to libraryland and straightaway we was all struck down. This is a seriously nasty cold. It started out with a sore throat that lasted for 2 weeks, then the throat thing turned into a coughing thing, then the coughing thing turned into a losing my voice thing, and now all I do is cough, splutter, sneeze, and moan a lot. Bah! I coughed so much this morning when I first woke up I thought I was going to barf. I couldn't catch my breath. Awful. Hideous. Oh so attractive. Seriously I haven't worn makeup or done anything with my hair for the past two days. I've crawled out of bed, put on some crappy laying around clothes and been clamped to my sofa. I had to venture out to the shops just now as needed milk, bread, etc etc, and went out with crap hair and sans makeup, and didn't care, that is the important point here people. There is one positive side though. I haven't lost my appetite. And my voice is returning to its normal pitch rather than sounding like a 13 year old boy going through "the change".

I don't really feel up for blogging about everything that I've done in the past few weeks but it's been good times indeedy. I will say thai cooking, The Ting Tings, the night I did Burlesque and basically learned how to perform a lapdance, more thai cookery, lots of laughs, lots of good things, lots of bed. That's all you're getting.

Hope you are all okay out there. And hopefully I'll be back at work soon and will be able to stop coughing so much. Bub-bye xx