Thursday, 30 April 2009

Escape! Escape!

I got to leave the sofa today. And the 4 walls of my living go to the doctors. Yep I've now been off for over the week that we can self-cert for so had to go and get a sick note from the doc. Not my favourite thing to do. But it's the work rules. I bravely put my shoes on and headed out the door. Slowly. And breathed in the delights of my street. Ah the fresh air!! I plodded my way to the docs which is literally over the road so it wasn't too hazardous a journey to be taking on my own.

Once I got there I was overwhelmed by all the people in the waiting room. It's amazing how you can forget what people are like when you have 4 walls to look at and the odd visitor from your peeps. I sat down and was quietly concentrating on not spinning off my seat when the receptionist yelled my name out. Turning your head sharply whilst dizz is not to be recommended. But of course I did cos why would she be shouting me? What terrible fate awaits me? I struggle my way over there cos am now super dizzy due to turning my head so quickly. Oh the doctor is taping your session and needs your permission. Befuddled as I was I figured that would be okay. I wasn't going to be showing any dizz-private bits, I could handle being taped. I might have done something with my hair (other than the sofa-squish which is its current state) if I'd have known...

Went in to this new doc. And I swear he would have signed me off forever if I'd asked him to. He got his pad out without seconds of me telling him what I needed and had it signed and me whisked out the door again in seconds. Didn't he know it was my escape? Couldn't he make it last longer? Drag it out a bit, do the oh well I'm not sure we should be handing out sick notes so willy-nilly and maybe you should have dragged yo dizzy arse into work. But no. He was done with me.

So I was out! Escape was mine! For 10 whole beautiful minutes. Wow. Being back in the living room again doesn't seem so bad now that I've been out. But I tell you what. I can't wait to get over this dizz nonsense and get my life back again. It certainly means you don't take it for granted. How do people do that? When they don't work and stay in all day, every day? I would go absolutely insane! For all the moaning about work I do, I tell you now, I would give anything to be there now! Even if it was just to be moaning about the madness of it all...

...and yep, I'll enjoy eating those very words once I'm back there. Over and out.

Wednesday, 29 April 2009

Tuesday, 28 April 2009

More holes in my house

As Dizz mentioned, there's a huge hole, well more of a trench, in my back yard now.
What Dizz didn't mention is all the other holes - there's a new hole in the kitchen floor, and a rather large gap in the bathroom floor where the chimney breast used to be. Oh so scary, but it'll be fine, it'll be fine...

On a more positive note, our friend N (the set designer/interior decorator) came round to see the house last week. In a freakish twist of coincidence, he actually used to own it in the late 1970s. He explained how it used to look - apparently there was a lot of brown, with the occasional orange accent. Well, it was the 70s. And it probably went well with the porn-star 'tash that we've seen him sporting in photos from that time.

But most of all, N kept saying how much he had loved living there and what a good time he'd had in the house. I feel like there's a lot of good karma attached to this place - I can't wait to move in and start making it really mine.

Monday, 27 April 2009

Spin that Sky (blatantly stolen lyric from Yeah Yeah Yeahs)

The news from Dizz is that I'm off sick. Yet again. With dizzies. Seriously just when I was beginning to think that the effin things might have gone forever they attacked me good and proper. Started about 2 weeks ago. Baaaaad. I did my usual of ignoring them completely and refusing to give in to them in any way, shape or form or I might have to grrrrrrr OUT LOUD....(ahem) but on Thursday I woke up at half 5 (that would be in the a.m) and felt like I was lurching from one side of the bed to the other. Safe to say that I wasn't going to make it into work that day. And I haven't since then. And now I'm going out of my mind with boredom. How do people do this all the time?

The Dizz parentals did a grand job of raising me and my sis with a very strong work ethic. The rule when we were at school was that we had to be almost dead before we were allowed any time off. My sis used to throw talcum powder on her face to try to get out of final assembly day but we all knew it was a trick, still it sometimes worked (my poor ma). Getting back to the point, I'm not a natural born skiver. Whilst sitting and spinning (obviously not literally you have to understand) from the sofa I can't help wondering who has done the newspapers at work this morning cos I'm the only one who knows the Monday ritual of taking off the past week, replacing them with the current week, switching the boxes...and there's only me to check in the journals...and I'm so BORED! RAHHHHHHHHHH!

Oooohhh-kay, that feels slightly better. Despite all my resistance I decided (after both Fizz and Wavey gave me a mini lecture) that it was time to resort to the drugs. They take a couple of days but they do start to calm the spinning world down and then I can get back to work. But I'm not a natural born drug taker either so really it's a minor miracle at all that I a) actually listened to Fizz and Wavey and my pa and b) did as I was told (this almost never happens, trust me, ask anyone, they'll tell you).

Since Thursday I've watched all of Skins series 1 and 2 and am on the extras on the dvd of series 2. I've also watched This is England (brilliant film but brutal) and Kidulthood (also brilliant film and also kind of brutal...theme anyone?) and I've finished one book, read another and started on a third. Do you see what I mean? Even off sick I have to be doing something, edu-ma-cating myself type thing. I'm a do-er. How it's always been.

Today I washed my hair. And I didn't fall over. Which is a bonus. It's amazing how washing your hair can make you feel so much more human. What's up with that? Someone can psychoanalyse me and suggest that it's me trying to cleanse the dizzies out of my head...funnily enough someone once told me that the best thing for dizzies is to tip your head upside down. Not as barmy as it sounds. Apparently it's mini crystals in your ear canals that cause the dizzies and by tipping your head upside down and gently shaking it you can settle the crystals back to their rightful place. So there you go.

I think I should stop now. The boredom is causing rambling. Save me readers...

Wednesday, 22 April 2009

New House

I promised some photos of my new house. At the moment the builders are busy stripping out all the bits I didn't like, such as the kitchen floor and a chimney. Here's how the kitchen used to look:

and here's how it looks now:

Sunday, 19 April 2009

Is it just me, or have you ever noticed that rather frequently people change their status on facebook to the "in a relationship" and then within days it's changed right back again? It happened to a few of my friends a while ago and from that moment it was declared that changing status was like the end of the relationship. Bells tolling the end and all that stuff.

So I've had me a dilemma. I am now, what I'm pretty certain is described as, in a relationship with Wavey. We're several months down the line now, we've been on one trip, are about to go on holiday in 4 weeks (oh yes!) and are planning a big September holiday too. Things are mighty fine and happy happy joy joy reigns muchly. But that blimmin status thing. I so obviously don't want it to end. So what do I do? Well I've been umm-ing and ahh-ing for ages now. But I think I just chickened out cos alls I did was go in and make that box blank. I'll jump to my own defence and say I'm no longer telling people that I'm single when I'm not. But I'm not being entirely honest either...

What do we think peeps? Is this just a load of superstitious hooey? Am I being a wee bit daft? Or am I wise to leave that box blank? Comment away...

Thursday, 16 April 2009

Taking action/comedy spam

I should really have done two posts for this as they're totally unrelated, but hey, blogland has no rules, I say mix 'em up!

Part one: Taking action
Despite what yesterday's post might have read like, I'm not really one of life's natural moaners. I can generally give it a go for a while before I get fed up of myself and have to take action. That post was my moan for yesterday. Today was the action part. I've just submitted a form to enrol on a 4 week taster course called Introduction to Painting. It's free! And it takes place at this very university, convenient! I kind of eek-ed my way through the form and my heart did that pitter-patter excited thing. How cool! I haven't had any formal art teaching since I was at school way back when, will be very exciting to do some more; especially as an adult when you can appreciate these things so much more then when you're actually at school and are bored of everything and everyone. So there you go. Yay!

Part two: Comedy Spam
This week alone I have found out a very interesting thing from my spam mail. Not only had I placed several orders for Viagra that I wasn't aware of, but they were being dispatched from itunes and Amazon. Who knew? I wonder if it's only 79p from itunes...and do you reckon you can buy it used and new from the Marketplace...eeeeew!

Over and out.

Wednesday, 15 April 2009

Any place but here

There's something odd happens in my libraryland each time the little student peeps disappear for holidays: dissatisfaction with my lot. I really can't explain why. The rest of the year I'm all happy as larry (whoever he might be), going about my daily business, accepting the monotony of the job, basically just getting on with it. They've only been gone a week and already T and I are tearing our hair out with frustration. We spent a good 15 minutes on the 3rd floor today bitching and whining about how it's so unfair we're here when really we want to be elsewhere doing something else.

I can't (and wouldn't dream of it either!) speak for T but I know what my problem is. I just don't see my future being in libraryland. I don't know what it is that I do want to do when I grow up but I know it ain't this. I've been here before, went to see a careers advisor and everything, and he told me I should go and get a job elsewhere. Which would of course be the obvious solution. Except that the economy is a bit up shit creek without a paddle and there are zero jobs available. We have proven it this very day as we found out that for 1 Information Assistant post in our libraryland there are 125 candidates!!! Eeek, imagine the shortlisting fun with that one!

Right now, what I would really like to do, is a 1 year foundation course in art. Where you get to try everything, make mess, lie on the floor and paint your boobs and do a print...just letting your imagination run riot and see where it takes you. But sadly this would mean leaving work and paying fees which you can't really do without a for the tricky umbrella methinks.

So what is the answer I hear you ask. Um....any thoughts?

Thursday, 9 April 2009

New House

I just picked up the keys to my new house! Yay! I'll post some photos soon...

I went round at lunch time and ate my lunch there, just because I could. There was an extra little surprise for me in the garden - in a little corner by the gate are some bluebells! I love bluebells! Double yay!

Wednesday, 8 April 2009

The Up-Side of Insomnia

Insomnia is a horrible problem. It makes you so exhausted that you feel like you're walking though treacle. But there is an up-side: you magically have all this extra free time!

This morning I woke up about 4am and got up about 4:30 having given up trying to get back to sleep. I decided to draw the LEEEFT sheep (see blog below) on a t-shirt. It's so groovy!

I have a feeling that this bout of insomnia is going to go on for a while, so if there are any of you out there who want a t-shirt designed exclusively by me, get your orders in! (I am not limited to sheep.)

Tuesday, 7 April 2009


I'm going to be throwing a party in a few weeks. I'd like to have a theme, but something simple, stress-free and cheap. My favourite suggestion so far is a hat party - everyone wears a hat and the owner of the whackiest hat wins. Any other ideas?

Monday, 6 April 2009


A long time ago I went on a paragliding holiday. One guy had a nasty landing in a field full of gorse bushes. The instructor was screaming "turn right, turn RIGHT!" but the guy kept turning left. Later, when the instructor asked him why he kept going left, it turned out that the guy hadn't been able to hear him, but the sheep in a neighbouring field had been saying "Leeeeeft." Sheep bleating Leeeft

Sunday, 5 April 2009

In, out, shake it all about

Sundays used to be all about sleeping for me. I would always sleep until 11am, then lay around dozing for a while before getting up at around noon and spending the rest of the day being utterly lazy. But not anymore. For the past 4 weeks the ability to sleep until late has gone. And the funny thing is, I don't mind at all. I wake up between 7.30-8am and I'm full of energy! Literally buzzing. This is going to come as a serious shock to most people as they know me for loving my bed. But I'm embracing the change.

Today was going to be all about The Wire. Yep, the BBC have finally got around to buying series 1. And I've heard so many good things about it. It's been on ridiculously late so I've taped it each night and have 5 episodes waiting to go. But I ask you, how can you even think about staying indoors and watching tv when the sky looks like this:

I can't wait to go out and play!

Over and out

Friday, 3 April 2009

Tomato Soup

Ahh bliss! I love tomato soup. It stems from my childhood when my Mum would always give me tomato soup when I was poorly (unless the illness involved barfing of course). I was never allowed tomato soup in normal circumstances, don't know why, it was reserved for when I was ill. So now, whenever I eat tomato soup it gives me a sense of being cared for and a little bit pampered.

Thursday, 2 April 2009


Look how lovely and blue the sky is! Don't you just love spring? I feel like skipping up a mountain and singing about primroses and apple blossom and bluebells and fluffy little lambs.

Wednesday, 1 April 2009

What's up with Doctors?

Do you remember when doctors were helpful, kindly people who wanted to soothe and comfort the sick and injured. What happened? At my doctor's surgery the plan appears to be to confuse and obstruct the unwary people who wander in.

First, making an appointment was a minefield of unexplained rules. It turns out you either have to wait a week and a half for a normal appointment or make an emergency appointment by phoning between 8.30 and 8.32 am. I have earache - I don't think that's an emergency, but I don't want to wait a week and a half either. The third, hidden, option (for minor ailments) is to see a nurse practitioner which you can do any time. But they don't tell you that. And you have to explain your problem to the secretary in front of the whole surgery. Lucky I didn't have crabs.

When I did see someone, I was told my ear was blocked with wax so it wasn't possible to tell if there was an infection. Syringe it then? Nope, can't syringe it because there may be an infection. So get rid of the infection? Can't prescribe anything because can't see what kind of infection because of the wax... Repeat this several times and you'll understand why I'm thinking ARRRRGH!

On a more playful note: one of our blog readers has suggested she'd like to become a contributor and wants to have an alias like ours. She suggested one beginning with J. Think about it... there you go! How rude!