Tuesday, 19 April 2011

The urge to cuss/fashion critique

Today was a day that I really wished to suffer from Tourettes. Before I go on I hasten to add that I don't mock such an affliction by any means, but the urge to just shout stuff at people was really really high throughout the whole afternoon. Let me explain myself.

The sun is shining. And as a result there are a lot of truly hideous sights. I've blogged about this many times but I swear (no pun intended) that it's getting worse every year. Maybe it's the appearance of the Daisy Duke teeny tiny denim hotpants that's done it for me this year. In my 4 hours on the public desk this afternoon, should I have been suffering from Tourettes, these are just a few choice phrases I would have shouted out for all the world to hear:

ORANGE! (wee bit too heavy handed with the fake tan slap)

FAT! (there were seriously too many of these to choose a single one)

HOOKER! (at the sight of teeny tiny Daisy Dukes, thigh high black suede boots, white top and a HUGE amount of muffin top spilling out over the top of this beautiful ensemble)

CORNBEEF LEGS! (which definitely do not belong in Daisy Dukes)

All of the above pretty much covers it. Now maybe you may consider me a smidge too critical, and I'm not saying that I'm perfect (far from it) but I do consider myself a stylish laydee and so feel that I am able to offer such criticism in good faith. I would love to take these people aside and suggest that they buy a mirror, and actually take time to look in it before they leave the house as I am convinced that they can't possibly do this. Either that or they have really awful friends who tell them dreadful lies when they ask if their bum looks big in this. This last is particularly prevalant with regards the blessed Daisy Dukes that seriously should not be worn at all unless you are of supermodel proportions and have really fabulous legs. Sheesh girls of my town, this has to stop, cos seriously? It's awful!

Speaking of awful, the one whose name cannot be mentioned has clearly been shopping at the inappropriately-attired-for-work.com store again as today's lovely dress was so awful, so short, so thin that I could practically see the choice of underwear for the day. I have only one word in response: mutton. Cease and desist immediately!

As for me I hear you ask? Well today I am wearing my most favourite skirt of the moment that is black jersey with really tiny pleats and hangs beautifully (even if I do say so myself...), with funky tights, pretty shoes and my AC/DC Money Talks teeshirt - I like to mix it up...trust me dear readers, one thing you shall never see me in is Daisy Dukes. Unless it was at a bad taste party...

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