The last time I was a full time student I was aged 20-23. Whenever stuff got hard or my brain was mush or I just needed a break we would all meet up in our house share, put the kettle on, and have a good old gas. Or we would head to the pub. Pretty much a win-win there then. This time around I am 38, and you know what? It might seem obvious but it's oh so different.
In the younger days when deadlines loomed I seem to remember that we would probably just go to the pub. This time around, my deadlines are looming large and I can almost see numbers and days falling away in front of my eyes. The urge to panic is big and there's been a couple of times when I have felt completely overwhelmed and all bit oh my god what have I done type thing. Don't get me wrong, I know that this is by far the best decision I have made in a long time but with age comes fear, and that carefree attitude that I had back then is nowhere to be found. I've got a lot riding on this and I have to do it right.
Thankfully good discipline seems to have come along with age. I get up in the morning as if I was going to work. Yes I catch up with some of my trash tv before I start the day but I am up and about and reading and thinking and scribbling and I am achieving a lot each day. But there's so much to do! I don't seem to remember having to do this much work before. Maybe I picked a really easy course and there wasn't the same level of commitment. I seem to remember writing essays more than business reports, or newspaper articles, or ideas for radio shows - yep actually a lot different to the marketing strategy I am currently composing or the presentation on IT Governance I was working on this morning. Or maybe all my memories from before were drowned in all the beer?
Maybe I should sack this sitting here and pretending to be good and just go to the pub! I know I won't but it was amusing to put it out there. I can imagine Wavey coming home to find me crashing around the house shouting sshhhh and trying to locate the nearest snack point before stumbling to bed in a drunken stupor...perhaps not. See? With age comes the fear. And choosing sensible over yeah whatever. Sometimes I miss those days...but then that Dizz really didn't have a clue about life and which direction she wanted to go in. This Dizz does. And she's very determined. So I best put down the blog as if it was a writing pad and switch programmes and get back to my marketing strategy. But you know what? When I'm all done at the end of this month I am so going to the pub to get drunk! Can't wait...