Wednesday, 11 July 2012

Security blankie

Even though I am way old and really do not need a security blankie, I now have one. I'm not ashamed to admit it. I'm out and proud - blankie all the way. Not that my blankie is actually a blankie of any shape or form, nope, what the blankie actually looks like is my raincoat. Seeing as though I now take the blimmin' raincoat every single place that I go to, even if the sky is gloriously blue for about 3 seconds before turning grey and wet again, it has to be called the new blankie. 

I admit it's a smidge ridiculous. But I don't trust that blue sky anymore. No way my friends. Last week the sky was blue, the sun was shining, I was so excited I skipped to the car to banish the raincoat and merrily dance my way into town. I had probably walked about 50m down the road before the heavens opened, more of the raining wet stuff poured out of the sky, and I looked like I was in a wet t-shirt competition. Never a good look to try and rock. 

You might have guessed it's still raining. I'd love to be writing about more important stuff, truly I would, but at this time it seems vitally important to me that it is still raining, has been now for about 7 weeks, and no-one seems too worried. I am very worried. There was some talk about the Gulf Stream being in the wrong place and this is why we have so much rain but the weather people are practically singing it from on high that oh yes, said in totally jolly voice, it's going to rain again and this area has amber flood warning alerts. Nothing to worry about at all...I have a personal theory that weather people are actually living in constant fear and dare not try to say it might be sunny for fear of being spotted, chased, and lynched by street mobs chanting WE WANT SUMMER WE WANT SUMMER you evil ba*$%rds...

I fear it may never stop raining now. I'm even fearful that when we go on our holiday in France it will be raining there too. This fear is clearly why I need my security blankie. Will I ever be able to let it go? I fear not...more fear...eeep!  

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