Friday 27 March 2009

Dire, drivel and dross...

...meet the new triplets. Nope, not the names of new dogs. Instead the words that describe the last 3 films I have been to see. Let's start from the top.

The International. Starring Clive Owen and Naomi Watts. Watch the trailer for this movie and it looks like a super thrilling ride. Go and see it and get a numb bum (waaaaayyyy too long), and totally baffled, and I mean right from the start. Literally. I had no clue what was going on. And it wasn't just me being dense as the majority of the audience came out with puzzled expressions. The only saving grace was the shoot out in the Guggenheim in NYC. But it wasn't enough to save the film. Duf-fer. Don't do it.

Next up, another Clive film. This time Duplicity. What can possibly go wrong? Julia Roberts, Clive Owen, espionage, romance, thrills, spills...snoozing. Yep, just down the aisle from us there was a man snoring. I almost fell asleep twice, did that thing where your head drops and then BANG you jump awake. The only saving grace of that film was trying out the new Ben and Jerry's icecream. Yet again, dear blog readers, do not waste your time seeing this film.

And finally, for the hat trick of awfulness, last up is Knowing. Again with the good trailer. Yet again with the awful film. This one could well have been the worst of them all. Too long. The cheese factor was beyond description. Nicholas Cage, tut tut, you should truly be ashamed of yourself. The ending was shaking your head bad. Lesson learned from this film: don't let Wavey pick what we go and see. Ever again. I knew we should have gone to see Mall Cop...

So dear readers. Take heed of these warnings. Don't go and see these films as you will never get back the 7+ hours that they take to watch. You know it's going to be a strange year for films when the best cinema experience of the year so far has been Confessions of a Shopaholic...

Over and out x

3 comments:

Librarian Girl said...

That's sad- I was hoping Duplicity would be entertaining.

tizz said...

How strange! I have seen the same three films in the same order, must say I kinda liked duplicity - not fantastic but not as horrendous as the other two!Especially Knowing! The more I think about it the more get annoyed at the plot contrivences and the appauling ending, the moment of head hitting exasperation coming for me whe nic stared up and dropped to his knees (you know what I'm talking about) gah! Save your money people!

Anonymous said...

Oh no - I fancied all three from the trailers, boo.

C