Image (self)

On my little trot back to the car today I walked past several reflecting surfaces and did a little glance into each of them, as you do...as I do...and decided that it's no wonder people, and I'm pretty sure I don't just speak for myself here, have such skewed versions of self image. Every single reflective surface showed me in a slightly different way. It was like a warped hall of mirrors designed to mash with your head. 

Just to say though, I'm not completely vain and always staring at my reflection. Quite often as you approach glazed doors they show your whole image and you can't really avoid looking at that unless you walk with your eyes cast down all the time, in which case you'd be in serious danger of walking into said glazed door which wouldn't be such a bright idea. And when you go to a bathroom they have mirrors. The lifts at work have mirrors but there's definitely something wrong with those ones as they make me look like a giant heffa and I'm pretty confident that this is not the case. I'd admit to being on the chunky side, or "sturdy" as my Pops kindly refers to me, but heffa like, no!

Then there's those really strange mirrors that somehow stretch you so you look like you have supermodel proportions. That's all well and good if you want to fool yourself but I think what we all need is a really good mirror. A mirror that tells you the whole truth and nothing but the truth. If you want to know if your bum looks big in that outfit, ask the mirror. I wouldn't need to ask the mirror that as my bum looks big in everything, this is because I have me a curvy and bootylicious bum that I rather like thank you very much. While I'm at it, I think some of those students at work need this mirror as they clearly haven't looked into anything that resembles a mirror at all. Or if they have, all I can say is eep! There are truly some hideous sights and waaaaaay too much flesh that I don't need to see. And seriously, what's with the teeny tiny shorts that your bottom cheeks literally hang out of paired with opaque tights, but the shorts are so small you can see where the gusset of the tights begins...sheesh people, no no no. Get thee to a mirror and examine your outfit! 

And so, in conclusion, reflective surfaces are just there to freak us out. But I firmly believe it's always worth a glance in them just to, you know, check if you've got food in your teeth, or make sure your skirt isn't tucked into your tights and you're showing your floral knickers to the world. What? It happens! Honest I've seen it happen and you can't always rely on nice people to tell you as they're too busy laughing at you. Mirrors though, they might lie sometimes, but they'll definitely tell you that!