Toast is so last year..

Tizz and I spent a most jolly weekend festival-ing in a field in Suffolk (sounds just like a Pulp song...funny then that Cat should spot Jarvis Cocker mere metres from her when we were there!) We had the great privilege of being camped right next to a bunch of boys. I say boys, even though they clearly thought they were men. Actually they thought they were total stud muffins but more of that soon. Each night they would return back to the tent in the wee early hours of the morn, set a campfire (TOO CLOSE to our tent!!) which they would creatively put out each night - when I tell you that the first night involved them pissing on it you get the idea of the kind of boys they were. And then the tales would begin. And they were such lovely bedtime stories that I felt a need to share with blogland. Are you sitting comfortably? Okay, here goes.

Studmuffin 1: well I had this girl at my house one night and in the morning, at breakfast, I offered her a FAB lolly cos I didn't have any toast or cereal or anything...

*cue muffled sniggering from the boys*

Studmuffin 1: ...and she got all huffy and everything and I mean come on boys, a FAB lolly, you just would wouldn't you, I don't get what was the matter with her...I'd be well chuffed if someone offered me a FAB for breakfast...

I couldn't help it, I sniggered along with those boys. A FAB lolly! Well it's different I'll give him that.

The second night it started to heat up a bit after Studmuffin 1 had clearly spent much of the night wooing and charming some lovely lucky girl. Whom he later described as "a walking wet wipe"...have you ever heard anything so filthy?! In the same night, Studmuffin 2 was telling everyone about how he'd nearly copped off with some 50 year old bird. But she was hot, with like really nice legs and a tan and everything. And imagine being able to go home and tell all your mates that you shagged some 50 year old at Latitude. Imagine indeedy.

By night 3 I was envisaging some awfulness. But Studmuffin 1 didn't come back! Or at least he did, but by then his mate had already pissed on the campfire so he had to go and join someone else's party, where I'm sure he regaled them with the FAB lolly story, these things are always better told to complete strangers who will stand back in admiration at such a vision of a gentleman...

All chuckling aside however, Tizz and I had a really fabulous time. It was so nice to catch up with each other and spend happy times and happy days together:




Miss you already Tizz! Come visit us soon xx