bugger this independent lark...

...and find me a man with strong arms who will help me build my new furniture. It arrived this morning at 10am prompt, v.impressed I was with that. Not so much with the men who kept on calling me Mrs J, no, that is my mam, I am Miss please. Obviously I didn't say that to them. So they arrived with the table and chairs no probs, in the kitchen. Wardrobe for upstairs please. Oh (shaking heads) we can't take that upstairs it's more than 40kg. I'm sure the confused look in my eyes and the "but how will I get it upstairs" helplessness must have worked well as next thing I knew they were out the van and up the stairs, wardrobe in hands. Thanking you most kindly, nice Argos men.

Excited at the prospect of new furniture I set to unpacking all the boxes (how much cardboard?). Approximate building time: 45 minutes. A good hour and a half later, several expletives as I realised I'd screwed the legs on one of the chairs the wrong way round, and a hugely aching right arm from all the allen key-ing required, I was cursing my single status and wishing for the Mr to go with my assigned Mrs status from earlier to turn up and build our new table with his manly strong arms. Thankfully my dad (the real Mr J) is turning up later tonight to help me build the wardrobe armed with both his strong arms, and more importantly, an electric screwdriver. Woo. And a hoo.

Oh, in my not tidying up state since Saturday night, I forgot the willy deely boppers were still on my coffee table downstairs. I could see my poor ma looking at them askew when she popped round for tea earlier. I demonstrated their flashiness. She laughed, kind of, but I could tell that she wasn't really that impressed. Think I might have to find a hiding place for them before my dad comes round later. There's a slight problem in that the packaging said they can't be thrown out and instead had the recycling symbol on them...confused? Yep me too. So if I can't throw them out what exactly should I do with them? Thoughts? Suggestions? To clear up any confusion over what they actually are, here's some that look v.similar:


Classy eh? xx

Hola desde España

So I´m sitting in an internet café, reeking of sun cream and mosquito repellent, nursing a cold beer and thinking of you all back there in frigid old Blighty. Tee hee. Here in Ferteventura the sun is HOOOOT but the breezes are cool, so it´s just lovely.

I´ve managed to get a bit of a tan, despite wearing factor 60 and a hat. I went to the beach, but the water looked yucky. Gave that a miss. I just lounge on my little patio instead, reading, snoozing, doing a bit of embroidery (Yes. Stop snorting. It´s cool - embroidery is the new going out.)

The apartment is ok, basic but clean, and it has everything I need, even a telly showing British TV! I haven´t used that though, not because I´m a miser (it costs a lot), but because I forgot about the only thing I wanted to watch, which was Ugly Betty. Never mind, I´ll catch it on the on demand gizmo on my new telly box thingy.

I promised Dizz I´d write a review of Hot Fuzz which we went to see recently, but I´ve just been too busy, erm, lounging. I´ll do it when I get back. Sufice to say, it was brilliant. Dizz nearly wet herself, and I had difficulty breathing, I was laughing so much. Actually, I think I´ll go and see it again. A girl needs a good laugh-fest after a holiday, it helps to set the wrinkles in properly.

Hasta luego
Fizz

PS I am even more fizzy than usual. Sun is not good for curly-tops like me.

I didn't think you were hairdressers...

Last night saw me attend not one, not two, but three parties. Rock n'roll baby. The first one was K's hen night from work. We always knew this was going to be a good'un cos she's not exactly a fading wallflower. I'm not sure if it was the flashing willy deely boppers that alerted me to this or the cucumber that she had to suck on each time she took a dare out of the hen night tin. Give her credit, she lived up to every challenge exceptionally well. I think my favourite was to find the equivalent of the Spice Girls in men and get a kiss from each of them. Being pretty freaking tall in my red stilettos I had a great vantage point in the pub and managed to find Posh for her - it was his quiff and pink shirt that gave him away. Glad you had a great night K, here's to the wedding...it really is REAL now! Eek!

From there I went along to another party and met D and her workmates for drinks. Cat joined me for these drinkies. We plonked ourselves down with this group of people. I knew a few but others hadn't met me before. All were fascinated by the flashing willy deely boppers (great ice breakers, if anyone wants to borrow I will gladly pass them on...) and talk went round to the usual chitchat smalltalk that these things take. Until one guy pointed at my flashing willy deely boppers and asked me if I like them or girls. Direct quote, I kid you not. Trying hard not to lose any of my Corona whilst snorting through my nose, I pointed at the flashing deely boppers and chuckled muchly. The poor guy was mortified. Apparently the fact that both Cat and I have short hair and I have funky eyewear with my new glasses means that we are lesbians. Obviously people. I mean come on, keep up here. Tee hee. That's a first for me I tell you, being asked outright like that!

Cat and I then decided to leave this sweet group as I was off to my final party of the night. We headed out to the main road and were innocently waiting for the green man to flash us over the road when this man commented on Cat's funky 60s print dress. He proceeded to cross the road with us, chatting all the while, conversation including where one finds a decent shagpile carpet these days, did we want to go to the Bongo with him, were we designers cos he didn't think we were hairdressers...truly bizarre moment. Thankfully a taxi did a prompt u-turn to pick us up and we piled in gratefully. Madness.

So to my final party destination. More Corona. Any snacks? What, a girl has to eat regularly! I left there at about 3am and click-clacked my way back to my house in my red stilettos. Sheesh, what a night. Every Saturday night should have 3 parties, if only to come across all that bizarreness for blog tales!

Oh PS. doesn't everyone realise that footless tights are passe now and that smock tops really do make the thinnest of girlies look like they're about to drop a sprog?
Ta-ta xx

Pancake Day!

It was pancake day yesterday and after a hard full day at uni L and I decided to try the new pancake house that was having its grand opening! Suffice to say the first day is never the best to visit a new place as the staff weren't sure what they were doing and my first pancake came out cold - yuk! But they replaced it with one hot wnough to take the skin off the roof of my mouth so all was well in the end.

Coming to my point then, they had a massive selection of exotic toppings available sweet and savoury but in the end I went for butter and maple syrup - my favourite secind only to cherry jam! L went for a waffle instead but agreed that she would have had to go for traditional lemon and sugar if she'd had one. So I ask everyone today what's your favourite pancake topping and could you be tempted to try a new flavour?

tizz x

things that are not good

1. My cheap-as-chips version of Ugg boots. In the rain. On slippery paving stones. How I didn't fall on my arse is one of life's mysteries;
2. My new glasses. I've struggled for a week thinking that it was just my eyes adjusting. Turns out that spaced out kinda feeling is that the prescription just isn't working for me. Am v.sad that I've had to take them off and am back to my old ones. Re-check on Thursday though so hopefully all will be resolved;
3. Working till 8pm. On yet another Friday night when I should be out rocking the town. I'm supposed to be doing that when I finish and all I want to do is go home and eat and sleep;
4. Applying for jobs when you're in competition with people that you really really like, cos even though you might think that you won't hold it against them if they get it, there'll always be that teeny weeny voice asking, "why wasn't it me?";
5. Holes in the side seams of your pants, less said about that the better probably...

Ahhhh bless, just served a Computing student who gave me the loveliest of shy smiles. Cancels out all those not good things.

Ta-ta x

Infamous

Another cinema outing for Dizz and me at Arc recently, this time we saw Infamous which is the story of Truman Capote's writing of In Cold Blood. Our mate Sandy (Bullock) was brilliant, as usual, and Gwyneth proved again that she really can sing.

A couple of scenes were a bit gruesome though: the death scene was distinctly uncomfortable, and watching Daniel Craig snogging another man was just horrible. Nooooooo...

have I mentioned...

...that me and Tizz are going on a jolly holiday this year? And the destination to that holiday is SAN FRANCISCO!!!!! (and that deserves many more exclamation marks, Fizz). Have just got off the phone with Tizz and am yet again bouncing around all over the place with the excitement. And that's just from talking about going. We haven't even made any firm plans yet. Can you imagine how excited I'm going to be as it gets closer? I will be so fecking annoying that people will be slapping me down and telling me to shush. We're going to do so much, it's going to be so freaking cool that it will rock up there to possibly the best hol of all time (the current one for that is New York, baby). Anyhoo, just had to blog that squeakily high excitement!

In other news, sightings from today that should be banished:
1. flip flops. In winter. Er hello?
2. vest tops. See above
3. that girl with the perfectly manicured, french-polished nail digging out her bogies. On the bus. In full view of all. What is that confusion?
4. not really a sighting as more an assault on my nasal passages, get that smelly man off my bus, what's with the men who smell of bad body odour and wee? Nast-eee.

Ta-ta x